office today seems boring
even though my frnd came after a day off (she was nt well)
but the thing is i dun socialise n the even bigger fact is that "I CANT SOCIALISE"
now thatz out n upfront
that does nt make me sad
i could sit alone n spend my time by myself
but when ppl keep telling u nt to stay alone but still dun try HARDER to get me involved then i get upset..
ppl if u have such an issue wid me being alone then u should try to b wid me n dun expect it to b the other way around

:S

sometimes things seem so obvious but they r nt.. u like someone n they turn out to b real idiots.. but that could b because i m wrong.. i dun get stuff like this. how can ppl b such hypocrites.. or mayb i m making judgements based on someone else's experiences.. but is nt that what smart ppl do?? "learn from other pl's experiences instead of getting killed trying to cross a busy road just to get one's own experience".. and then observation tells u alot.. but what troules me is that i might b wrong in my observation n my judgement.

thoughts

sometimes i wonder what it would have been like if everything was all normal and ok and ppl were nice and considerate n all
y do v have to live in a world so wrong, realise the fact that it is wrong and still keep living in it??and y ,then, do v keep doing the wrong things if v know they r wrong??
y do v think if v do something wrong, some lame excuse can make it right?? y is nt realisation enough??
if i could i would have changed this imperfect world.. but then it would have been according to my wishes and even they might have been wrong..!!!
mayb what i think is right is actually wrong
things keep confusing me
sometimes i cant understand things and at other times i think i think a lil too much and take the wrong conclusion
i sometimes hate ppl coz i cant hae them.. i am imperfect and i think the world is imperfect
mayb two imperfections might end up making a terribly imperfect situation..
but i dun want that.. and still i dun have any idea as to how to b perfect or even to give "being perfect" a shot..
is life so confusing for everyone??sometimes when i see different ppl in different places i wonder what life for them s like..
the thought that life for some ppl might b perfect is so wrong but i cant help thinking about it
:S:S:S:S:S:S
i m one confused person

long time

have been so happy for so long
knew it was nt going to last
waisay b bad times make one stronger
the thing is that i make mistakes
but who does nt??
and i, being a human, do not like it whne someone tells me that i ve done something wrong
its ok
i can accept it
but just feel so .... awful
i never tell ppl they r wrong
then y do ppl keep telling others??
well everything is not perfect in this world
i m going to have to learn to deal with it

my parenst r going to b home this time tmrw inshaAllah

today at the office there was this med team taking blood samples for hepatitas (or however it is spelled)
just came from there.
no matter how many times i go for blood tests, it stil freaks me out
cant stop shaking n my face says it all
but i find it kind of funny aftewards..
:)
hope everything is ok
coz my dad my brother n my api had this disease in the past 2 yrs
hope i dun have it
its so... disgusting
:S
well work work work
workshop tmrw..
cant seem to find time to rest
m still sleepy n tired
well i will sleep like crazy on the wekend
(I HOPE)

day did nt start off real well at the office
then again this is what happens most of the times
:)
just hope my day goes great
coz i sooooo cant handle bad things right now

???

hectic routine n crazy busy nites
cant even sleep before 1
waiting like anything for my mama abu to come back
enojoying work but a lil worried that i might not be top performer this month
:(
well have to give other ppl a chance :)
just feel like sleeping for days
n feeling funny abt the workshop on fri
"safety for women"
i so need to learn all that
but it will b kind of funny
i just hope i dont get nervous like always